Happiest of Autumn to you!
And a very warm welcome if you are new to Tea with HB, I am so happy you are here, and hope you will share my website with a friend!
If you are interested, I run creative writing workshops here!
I have no words to describe what’s happening in the world right now, but this poem ‘We teach life, Sir’ by Rafeef Ziadah from 2011 expresses my feelings of frustration towards the media at times like this, and it is incredibly moving.
I am well aware my version of ‘healthy’ is not everyone’s. But this October, I have walked more than I have in years. I have still had intense flare ups, mental health meltdowns, and I am crying while typing because this is 'luxury' for me: Not the lack of these things, but a slightly increased ability to cope with them. It is so difficult to explain, the hours of trying to frame your life in a positive light when there is so much you can’t do— the brief glimpses of ‘health’, (whatever that looks like for you) can be intoxicating. Fresh air. Exercise. Cooking. Seeing friends. These things are essential nourishment for life, but for me they are luxuries. When my illness fluctuates up it’s like a good meal I want to savour and yet I can't help but devour it— And then it’s gone. And I'm left licking the plate hoping for one last droplet or crumb. And from the outside? It’s someone’s nightmare. And it’s hard to reframe it, the constant pain, the surprise jealousy that winds you, the bitterness that seeps in slowly like poison. But I am trying. You see even when it's good, it's gruelling. Yes I can walk, but at what cost? It's luxury.
October Favourites
☀️ Good News: The scars from my surgery in the summer have finally healed! (in the sense that they aren’t hurting all the time anymore) and my cousins are amazing, generous people!
📚 Book: Loveless by Alice Oseman
A wonderful exploration of asexuality and friendship.
📺 TV: Ghosts and Scrubs
🍿 Movie: Monte Carlo
🍜 Food: Peking Duck with this gf tortilla recipe
🖋️ Writing Prompt: What does luxury look like for you?
🎶 Music: 1989 (Taylor’s Version) and Subtract by Ed Sheeran
I agree wholeheartedly. Luxury for me is the occasional day or two when my chronic fatigue fades enough that I don't have to fight to do a task that would be ordinary for someone else. Cooking dinner instead of just throwing something in the microwave is a great example.